The 10 Golden Rules to Food – Sharing !
1. I can (and will) switch between hands, spoon, fork and knife – It’s my food – It’s my wish. I don’t plan to do it in gross way but if you think its gross feel free to leave. It’s almost like praying – I can sit and pray, stand and pray – hell I can pray while playing hopscotch if I like, as long as I enjoy it – It’s not your call. If this analogy offends you I am sorry – we clearly will not be eating together.
2. At least have the courtesy to let me eat a few bites of my food before you start eyeballing it.
3. Yes you want to taste my food – that’s fine by me – taste away. But if you interrupt me with your hand WHILE I am eating – you aren’t getting that hand back.
4. There is nothing more personal than sharing food – I agree – But please don’t mangle your food till it resembles a pile of human remains growing fungi floating in its own juices and THEN offer some to me. I’ll try to be polite but that bite will not go down easy.
5. No, let’s NOT share the popcorn/coke at the movies – I am not sure about the etiquettes and always find myself drifting away from the movie and wondering if I am eating/sipping too much or too less (in which case I am worried you’ll finish it).
6. This is an important one – French fries – ORDER YOUR OWN DAMN FRIES – I do not understand how people manage to share fries or WHY. They are inexpensive – abundant – and always taste the same. If you want to share – let’s order a BIG serving – divide it EQUALLY and then eat it.
7. Burgers are my pet peeve – it’s with good reason that people say you should not eat burgers on the first date and here is why – It’s gross to look at. No matter how put together you are, in high heels, a fitted dress and a sharp walk – you will look like a toddler trying to eat mashed bananas and missing the mouth – and that is ok with me – Just please do not ask or offer to share!
8. Ok I understand that you like to experiment – I did too – but I am at that age now where I know what I like and it’s generally because the dish is THAT good. So don’t go order crushed biscuits with stir fried noodles covered in sprinkles and then EAT MY FOOD.
9. The BIG one – the food spray. Yes, I do like a good natural face-pack now and then – you know – to keep myself looking like I am 15, but, anything that has come directly from your mouth doesn’t count! Yes we all like a good chat and a hearty laugh while eating but finish your morsel! Anything that’s flying from your end of the table to mine is considered a contamination.
10. Last, but not the least – my MEAT. I will ALWAYS offer to everyone before I start eating so be nice! Please? Don’t take that HUGE chunk out of my meat along with all the lovely fat leaving me with the dried out crusty bits. That’s just general courtesy.
The bottom line is – eating food together is personal and private and everyone has their own quirks especially if you are a foodie. It’s better to have them all laid out on the table (intended) so that it can be a pleasant experience for everyone.